Śūnyatā
“When we can grasp the emptiness of our false selves, we are touching a little bit of truth. If we can relax into that truth, we can discover ourselves in a new way. But without a method of looking into emptiness, most of us are at risk of becoming overwhelmed by fear.” – Mark Epstein, M.D. Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart
When I was a little kid, like 6 or 7, I used to have a very hard time falling asleep. I was so afraid of something bad happening. My worst fear was death. I thought sleeping people don’t look that different from dead people, so sleeping must be close to death. And when I thought about death my head would spin. I was afraid of some indescribable emptiness. Could I take my teddy bear there with me?
I thought, even if I DO go to heaven, won’t I just end up bored – eventually? The concept of eternity was there for little me, but the ability to cope with it wasn’t – and still isn’t. Forever. We toss that word around so easily. “I promise forver…I’ll love you forever…Best friends forever.” Forever is so permanent and that perplexes me. I remember wondering if a soul does live forever, how do we not go crazy?
Dr. Duncan MacDougall of Haverhill, Massachusettes conducted experiments in 1907 which seemed to prove that the soul weighs 21 grams, since a body’s weight dropped that much at the exact moment of death. Are we all equally just 21 grams of everlasting goo? Strange concept, but a great attempt at trying to pin some sort of scientific evidence to that overwhelming concept of an eternal soul.
How about the more recent concept of quantum physics occurring in tiny structures called microtubules in brain cells? If energy can not be created or destroyed, then where does the microtubule energy transfer to after death? I mention this in connection with the quote from Epstein’s book (tremendous book by the way) since quantum theory is completely linked with emptiness.
Is emptiness so frightening? Maybe a little without your teddy bear at your side.
This is an interesting question since in our consumer driven materialistic society we often establish a feeling of well-being via acquisition. More and better of this or that supposedly makes us feel more better. How then can the American society be both the wealthiest nation while also being the most riddled with emotional and mental troubles? Take a look at Bhutan…there is a happy nation and only recently has their beautiful, lush land been touched by global influences and increased tourism. This small Asian country thrived as a collective society; elders were revered and their youth was loved very deeply being brought up in a tight-knit multi-generational home environment. The things that Bhutanese people cherished were not of a materialistic nature. Their Buddhist psyche didn’t lock them into a cycle of more and better, rather it freed them to enjoy the here and now. Imagine the difference between these two nations: “the American dream” going up against little, hidden, happy Bhutan?
I’m not bashing my country…I’m admiring another one in light of a society this New World has never really known. How could we? Our country grew to splendor amidst the Industrial Revolution. We are the children of consumerism and invention. This is how it is. When I’ve traveled to “3rd World” lands it has been a rough adjustment leaving my accustomed conveniences behind. However, the harder transition is returning home to my lush life and not feeling really undeserving of it all.
Getting away from the material is indeed a struggle. However, as the quote suggests, I am able to learn so much more about myself. I am tested. I am forced to interact, to trust, to connect with total strangers. Every single thing I view is new as I am completely removed from my normal bearings. It is awesome! Adventure travelers must be addicted to the sensation I described. One is so vulnerable in just such a situation. Vulnerability taps that fear of emptiness which buts up against a presumed comfort borne from having more, better, and enough stuff. How amazing are those survival shows on TV when the dude is dropped alone in a treacherous wilderness with nothing but the clothes on his back? From nothing flowers triumph, creativity, and strength. Who wouldn’t want to attain such noble ends?
Emptiness can be beautiful and should be embraced.
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